In the corporate world, managers often face tough conversations with union representatives. Sometimes these talks can become heated and even feel like a standoff. As a seasoned self defence expert, I want to share practical ways managers can keep control of the situation without letting it slip into physical confrontation.
Stay Calm and Control Your Own Body Language
The first rule is simple. Do not let your emotions run the show. If the union representative raises their voice or uses aggressive gestures, you must keep your posture relaxed. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, keep your hands visible and avoid pointing fingers. This shows confidence without aggression.
Example: If a representative leans forward and shouts, do not mirror that behaviour. Instead, keep your tone steady and say, “I hear your concern. Let us slow down and look at the facts.”
Listen First, Speak Second
Aggression often comes from feeling ignored. By listening carefully, you remove fuel from the fire. Nod to show you are paying attention. Repeat back what you heard in simple words. This makes the other person feel acknowledged.
Example: If they say, “Management never cares about our safety,” you can respond, “I hear you saying safety is your main concern. Let us talk about what can be done.”
Use Space to Your Advantage
Physical distance matters. Do not crowd the representative. Keep a safe space between you and them. Position yourself near an exit if possible. This gives you confidence and reduces the chance of physical escalation.
Example: In a boardroom, sit at an angle rather than directly opposite. This softens the confrontation and makes the conversation less like a battle.
Keep Your Words Simple and Neutral
Avoid emotional or loaded language. Stick to facts and solutions. Do not argue about who is right or wrong. Instead, focus on what can be done next.
Example: Instead of saying, “You are being unreasonable,” say, “Let us look at what options are available.”
Know When to Pause
If the situation feels like it is boiling over, call for a break. Step out of the room, get some fresh air and return when both sides are calmer. This is not weakness. It is tactical control.
Example: “I can see emotions are high. Let us take ten minutes and come back with clear heads.”
Keep Safety as the Priority
Remember, your role is not to win an argument. Your role is to protect yourself, your team and the company. If you ever feel that the situation may turn physical, remove yourself and call for support.
Final Thought
De-escalation is about control, not confrontation. By staying calm, listening, using space wisely and keeping language neutral, managers can handle even militant union standoffs without risking a fight. In C.O.B.R.A. Corporate Self-Defence Training we teach that the best defence is often the ability to prevent violence before it starts.