28Sep
Most of us grew up being told to be polite, to respect our elders, to not make a scene and to never be rude. In daily life this often works out fine. But when it comes to personal safety those lessons can sometimes put us in real danger.
Why politeness can put you at risk
Criminals and predators know that many people hesitate to say no or walk away because they do not want to appear rude. They use this hesitation against you. The man who insists on helping you carry your groceries, the stranger who keeps asking personal questions, or the driver who offers you a lift and will not take no for an answer all rely on social pressure. They know you are less likely to cause a scene or firmly refuse because you were raised to be “nice.”
When kindness becomes a trap
There are countless stories of people who allowed someone to get too close, step into their personal space or even follow them home because they did not want to hurt the person’s feelings. That moment of politeness can be all it takes for an attacker to close the gap and take control. Being agreeable and polite is good in normal life, but in a high risk situation it can make you a target.
How to unlearn dangerous habits
Breaking free from this type of social conditioning does not mean you must become rude or aggressive. It means you must give yourself permission to protect your boundaries. It is not rude to step back when someone crowds you. It is not rude to ignore a stranger who makes you feel uneasy. It is not rude to say a loud and clear no when someone pushes past your comfort zone. Your safety comes before their feelings.
Practical ways to protect yourself
- Trust your gut. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable there is a reason.
- Use your voice. A firm no or stop is often enough to put an end to unwanted behaviour.
- Create space. Move away or position yourself near other people or exits.
- Do not explain too much. You do not owe a stranger reasons for protecting yourself.
Choosing safety over social approval
At the end of the day being polite is not worth your life. Most attackers do not come out of nowhere. They test boundaries first. If you pass that test by allowing them closer because you fear being rude then you make their job easier. If you set a hard boundary they will often back off and look for an easier target.You are not responsible for protecting someone else’s feelings. You are responsible for protecting your own life. Kindness has its place but in the wrong hands it can become a weapon against you. Learn to separate the two and you take back control.
About C.O.B.R.A.™ Self-Defense South Africa
C.O.B.R.A.™ Self-Defense South Africa provides the gold standard in reality-based self-defense training, drawing on extensive real-world experience from law enforcement, corrections and protective services. We deliver professional in-person training for corporates, private groups, families and friends, as well as structured online programmes.
For enquiries, please contact us via email: info@cobradefense.co.za, or cell: 082 299 9117 or visit our website www.cobradefense.co.za.
When Self-Defense Is a Must, Nothing Else Will Do.
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